Date: 2008-05-15 21:08 Subject: Two guys... Security: Public

Two guys are walking down a dark alley when a mugger approaches them and demands their money. They both grudgingly pull out their wallets and begin taking out their cash. Just then, one guy turns to the other, hands him a bill, and says, "Hey, here's that £20 I owe you."

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Date: 2008-05-15 16:21 Subject: Who moved my cheese? Security: Public

A record number of local faces in the paper tomorrow (since I started counting, anyway!) and the launch (on our website) of a new feature allowing people to upload video. At last, we arrive in the multimedia age:-) I'm hoping to see some entertaining clips making appearances in the weeks to come. As a relatively recent convert to YouTube, I'm still constantly amazed with what's out there. We're also updating the site more often, while maintaining the exclusivity of content in the paper version. Hopefully our readers will approve...
  
I can reveal that mice love chocolate and that following a phone call from my wife this morning, I no longer have sympathy with the pesky little critters. Not when they're on my patch, anyway...

That's a glorious afternoon in any language and I'm getting out now to enjoy the last of it:-) 

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Date: 2008-05-14 06:38 Subject: Food for thought Security: Public

Found myself nodding so hard in agreement with a news item on TV last night  I almost got whiplash. 

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Date: 2008-05-13 06:50 Subject: Caravan envy Security: Public

I watched the wistful look coming across my colleague Agnes's face as a super-duper campervan type thing pulled up outside the front door of our offices in Dingwall yesterday. 

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Date: 2008-05-13 06:06 Subject: The day the earth moved Security: Public

As someone who lived there for more than three years, news of the earthquake in China stopped me in my tracks as I made my way home from work last night. It has momentarily taken the devastation caused by the cyclone in Burma off the front pages. The media within China is reporting the scale of the devastation much more openly that it might have done five years ago.

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Date: 2008-05-11 10:16 Subject: They gotta go... Security: Public

An otherwise lovely weekend was interrupted on Saturday when Grace, out playing in the garden, was heard to exclaim: "Oh look - a rat!"

 

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Date: 2008-05-09 15:54 Subject: Colour your world Security: Public Tags: burma bull, colour tower, gaudy trainers

The results of SPP's substantial investment in a new colour tower - right here in Dingwall, incidentally - can be seen for the first time in this week's Ross-shire Journal. And that's something you'll only see if you pick up a copy of the paper itself (hint, hint...)  The ticker tape teaser (scrolling across the top of the website in "Please Read Me!" red) gives a further indication of the delights ONLY to be found inside this week's paper...

What the new colour capability offers are more options for the use of the best photographs. Some pictures jump up and down and demand to be used in colour - and now we should be able to comply more often than was previously possible. In short, an exciting development. 

Trying out my gaudy new trainers at Dingwall Leisure Centre this lunchtime, I found my treadmill high deflated by a newsflash on the TV screen in front of me that UN aid to Burma was being cancelled as the first shipment in had been seized. That's just...pants. Don't you just hate it when politics get in the way of helping people desperately in need of help? I confess to switching channels in a bid to cool my boiling blood. 

Thumbs up on the Asics trainers (or 'tennis shoes' for my American friends), incidentally.  Light as a feather and already rendering my beloved Nike Airs a distant memory. That was a stroke of luck as they were the first pair I could find in a size 9 from a closing down sale. Bonus. 

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Date: 2008-05-07 16:45 Subject: gone for a burton Security: Public

The no diet diet has taken a bit of a hammering these past four days, what with entertaining friends up from the deep south. Today's catalogue of shame included a Harry Gow pie from Fortrose - it was going to be a fish and chips scenario but the local chipper was closed. In my day at Fortrose Academy it was Mario's and it was the cafe of choice for canteen rebels. Now it's under new management. And closed, it would seem.

Never mind. I always said it wouldn't be a diet. And, well, it's not. We had a barbecue on Sunday night and hot chocolate at Strathpeffer yesterday. That alone, we reckon, must have been packing about eight million calories. May have to stop eating or start running. Have some rather gay trainers (gay as in jolly, before anyone starts in on me) now so there's no excuse.

The Black Isle Wildlife Park was a bit of a winner this morning. I was spat at by an ungrateful llama and pecked by an emu keen to get some food out of my hand. The zebra and goat were both grateful for what they received. Highly entertaining for all concerned and Michael was agog at the antics of the peacock. I'd recommend the place to anyone with children - if feeding deer by hand doesn't do it for them, the wee play area probably will. And if it doesn't, they're clearly ungrateful brats. In which case, I blame the parents. 

Cromarty too was sparkling today, the harbour a photographer's paradise. I was kept busy keeping Michael out of the water, but you can see why arty types flock there. What with Rosemarkie beach basked in sunshine at the weekend and Starthpeffer looking its best yesterday, I'd say Ross-shire has done us proud.

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Date: 2008-05-02 21:33 Subject: Progress! Security: Public

 I seem to have shed about 3kg since starting the no diet diet two weeks ago. That has to be some sort of progress:) Had decided 20lb by Father's Day target was over-ambitious but even getting halfway there would be something. And, yes, I'll keep switching from Kg to lbs to keep everything nice and vague!

Looking forward to arrival of friends for a few days though massive house tidy-up (and duvet purchase) required before their arrival...less than  24 hours from now. As Shaggy might put say, "Yikes!"

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Date: 2008-05-01 22:47 Subject: The day the rain returned Security: Public

Time simply flew as I worked the magic on Shoe Friend's master's degree project proposal on the Chinese automobile industry last night. There I was hacking through a dense forest of words that didn't really make sense when I looked up at the clock for a moment's respite. Lo and behold, it was 1.20am. I sealed the deal and fired it back to her by email. Haven't been up that late since I followed the progress of Euro 2004 in Portugal - whilst in China. Good times, too: getting up at 2am to catch a taxi to a bar to meet like-minded idiots from around the world for some big screen action, barman on hand to serve, er, hot chocolate and toasties. 

Shoe Friend is Anj's best friend and is studying in Birmingham at present. She's the one we'd love to find a Mr Right for. I'd settle for a Mr Maybe but she's pretty fussy. I gather the 3,000 words I worked on overnight are but a precursor to a  thesis that'll make War and Peace look like Janet and John. Can't wait.

No weigh-in since I started this bizarre kinda, sorta weight-loss bid a fortnight ago. Which is probably just as well. Although credit where's it's due: I haven't touched a bag of Hula Hoops in a fortnight and I walked right passed a plate of shortbread on returning home from work last night. But it was very, very difficult. Anj told me this morning that I looked terrible and should just eat what I want. Ah, what it is to have the support of my loved one!  I didn't have the heart to explain the real reason for looking a tad crumpled: working into the wee hours on her best friend's tricky project... Ain't love grand? Have asked Mary Ann at work if she'll bring in her scales again: they are the benchmark and only they will do. She tells me the batteries have gone so, in a moment of supreme sacrifice, I offered to buy replacements. We'll see if she takes me up on that not-to-be-repeated offer. Workmate Lynne meanwhile has quietly picked up a Slimmer of the Week accolade at the class she's been attending. Fair play too: if it wasn't for her gauntlet throwing I'd still be bothering that 18-pack of Hula Hoops sitting a couple of steps from where I am right now.

Discovery of the day: Swimming, even puddling around with the kids in the leisure pool, is a great stress-buster. I'll still compare my flab with other chaps there, but that aside, it's always great fun. Anj startled me en route to the swimming pool tonight when she suddenly yelled, "Stop the car! Stop the car!" I thought she'd spotted Elvis or remembered that she'd left a pan on the gas or something. Turned out she'd spotted a girl on the street who may or may not have been Shoe Friend's colleague at university, when she was studying Portuguese in Beijing. "Are you sure?" I asked, trying to be helpful. "Mmm, maybe not. Shoe Friend's friend was really ugly..."

I didn't stop the car. 

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Date: 2008-04-30 22:56 Subject: Our Daily Bread Security: Public

Chilling viewing of the week: Our Daily Bread was a powerful and eerily silent two-hour documentary on where our food comes from and how. Without a word being spoken, it asked some of the most uncomfortable questions I've faced since my O Grade maths exam at Fortrose Academy (scraped through in the 50-54 per cent range). Informative and worth seeing, I thought. But then I was hashing through two hours worth of ironing at the time so any diversion was welcome...

Have just learned of Chelsea's Champions League semifinal victory over Liverpool. Not having Sky TV - and with no intention of getting it - I didn' see what appears to have been quite a match. LIverpool fanthough I have been for three decades or so, it'll be intriguing to see Abramovich's lot face their northern foes Manchester United...in Moscow. 

Chore of the week: There have been a few, but proofreading Anj's best friend's research project proposal (with more to follow tomorrow) probably takes the biscuit. I should've learned how to programme computers or grow beetroot in Russia or something...

Rip-snorting paper taking shape...naturally!

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Date: 2008-04-28 23:10 Subject: The Good, the bad and the ugly Security: Public

 The Good...

An impromptu family gathering round our house turned into an al fresco evening meal, capping a near-perfect weekend which confirmed that, yes, I really do prefer it when the sun shines. I took great pleasure in watching my daughter plunge with abandon into the swimming pool after her lesson and then watched with alarm as my toddler son tried to do likewise...

The Bad...

While its impact has been over-hyped, the Grangemouth oil refinery strike makes clear our scary over-dependence on oil and the internal combustion engine. This was evident at filling stations in Inverness (and doubtless elsewhere) where the odd hastily penned 'No diesel' sign was evident and drivers' sense of relief in finding the precious resource almost tangible. 117p for a litre of diesel? £5 a gallon? A resource that is running out? Where do you think it's all leading? 

And the Ugly...

Friday brought a tirade by email over a story which appeared in the paper (though apparently not prominently enough:) It also brought a personal verbal attack from someone whose 'logic' utterly defied me (and, I assume, the six witnesses who took in every word of it...). And then there was the irate phone call over a picture which never appeared in the paper (because it was never sent to us...) Sometimes we do indeed make mistakes. And sometimes we just cop flack simply for doing our jobs. It's at times like these you need to remember the unexpected thank-you notes from people grateful for our help in bringing their story to public attention.

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Date: 2008-04-23 20:45 Subject: Red-Letter Day Security: Public Tags: missing football, missing gerbils, missing thai fod

THERE are times - rare, but they happen - when your heart swells with pride as your children behave beautifully in a public setting, against the odds. 

In one of her spur of the moment flights of fancy, Anj decided it would be OK to bring Michael (20 months) along for an evening meal with the extended family. He'd napped long and hard during the day and had energy, she reasoned. I had visions of a cranky, over-tired, red-faced toddler with a bowl of noodles on his head, ruining it for everyone. 

But, as is often the case, Anj was right. 

Lanna Thai is an intimate little restaurant in the heart of Inverness which now goes top of my faves list - partly because of the great food and partly because the kids played an absolute blinder in adult company (and way past their bedtimes). Anj and I finally also got to meet eldest nephew John's girlfriend: bonus! It now makes perfect sense why I never see him anymore...

Achievement of the day: resisting a plate of truly scrumptious looking, freshly heated sausage rolls as I returned home, ravenous, from work. It was like the chocolate ice cream temptation only 10x worse. It physically hurt to see them sitting there and to walk on by. But I did it. And I'd like to think it was a fairly restrained performance at the Thai place too. 

I'm missing the Man U v Barcelona game because I don't have Sky and I can't be bothered going to the pub to see it. Pity it's not of terrestrial TV though as I have a mountain of ironing to get through and it'd have helped. It's hard to believe that the Democratic race is still rumbling on. Caught a cracking piece from Jim Naughtie on Hillary Clinton's win in Pennsylvania on Radio 4 as I drove in to work. Set me up for a day of journalistic probing. The first story I wrote was about a missing gerbil...

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Date: 2008-04-21 21:59 Subject: The heat is on Security: Public

EXCITINGLY, and for the first time in my life, I have wireless internet access from home - though I'm already imagining all sorts of nutters piggybacking my connection. Can't wait to give it a whirl in a hotspot. Just think: next time I could be the poser you see with laptop and coffee, pretending what I'm doing is so important I can't just sit and have a drink. Or talk face to face to someone.

Day Four of the 20lb-by-Father's-Day challenge witnessed challenges, I won't deny it. But I managed - just - to avoid snatching an ice cream cone from my toddler son at tea time when no one was looking AND hit the treadmill at lunchtime for a bit. However after sussing out that 20lbs is more than 9kg (maths never a strong point), I feel somewhat daunted. I'm already dusting down the fallback excuse about health experts recommending a loss of no more than 2lbs per week (putting my target outwith the 'recommended'  timescale...I think). 

There are more pressing matters in the world than my excess flab though and it's on glorious days such as this you feel incredibly grateful for what you've got. I swear I detected more smiles on the streets of Dingwall today than I have all year. Thanks to my wife's latest crackspot gardening wheeze, there are now a fewer rocks on the shores of Loch Ness. But that's another story... 

 

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Date: 2008-04-19 20:42 Subject: (no subject) Security: Public

Anj now covets a bird bath having seen a couple of the little fellas having a flap 'n' flutter in one along the road. Ultra-cute, she says. My default mode on that one was, of course, to resist: it would cost money, after all. Unless we could make one using a margarine tub. Blue Peter must have done it at some point, surely? But Anj, probably in common with many smart women, has a way of winning me round/breaking me down. And I suppose if you could guarantee a bit of this , you'd go for it like a shot. So far, only Homebase has been broached and the super-helpful chap there wasn't able to locate one.

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Date: 2008-04-18 20:47 Subject: Weighty matters Security: Public

FROM out of nowhere, young Mary-Ann produced a sleek set of scales with which to weigh myself at work. Within the safety of the toilet I stepped on. Several times. "Surely that can't be right?", I thought, horrified. stepping off, and then back on again. How is it that I'm not a kick in the pants away from...15 stones...208lbs...94.5KG? I was 80kg when I left Beijing.

The good news: This guy weighs 208lbs too. The bad news: he's a superfit bodybuilder. I'm not.  

How did that happen? There - that's that out there too. Game on! 

There's a healthy eating/weight loss vibe around the office just now with two of my co-workers hooked up with local Slimming World classes. We're either going to be rock-like supports for one another these next few weeks or fall out horribly driven by food cravings and chocolate withdrawal. Interesting times lie ahead. The supportive messages to date are welcome:) 

Tomorrow, IKEA stores across the UK knock 21 per cent of everything..an offer which my better half inevitably cottoned on to very quickly. She has aspirations for...well, pretty much half of the catalogue. Resigned, I rang around van hire places but - truthfully - not a Transit van was to be had for Saturday. I figure forking out £95 for delivery is the best bet, sale or no sale. She took it pretty well, all things considered. Must be the good weather. Gail at work meanwhile made me feel better about it all by declaring most of our IKEA hit list items 'overpriced' and hinting that she may have a cast-off sofa bed up for sale (though I'll be knocking her down on the price...) 
And, needless, to say, we didn't have the money to finance much more than a bag of tea candles anyway...

A (cheap) weekend of gardening looms large:)

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Date: 2008-04-17 21:59 Subject: Can he do it? Security: Public

Film: Once , watched huddled in our freezing kitchen wrapped in a duvet, turns out to be a lovely, simple, pure piece of filmmaking centring on a busker who meets a Czech girl on the streets of Dublin and goes on to make sweet music with her. Highly recomended - you may never look at a busker the same way again. 

Bizarre: Ever tried swimming in a pool so shallow your knees gets grazed? Neither had I until I took the plunge into the only public lane available during my daughter's swimming lesson tonight. They raise the floor of the pool, you see. Very clever but very uncomfortable if you're more than three feet tall. 

Gauntlet time: The Journal's ace reporter, Lynne, has issued a challenge I can't resist (even though it involves me having to lose 10 per cent of my weight by Father's Day). There, I've said it. It's in the open. Great target but how the devil am I going to do it? When I got home, there was a plate of those cocktail sausages on the table, each packing enough fat to sink a battleship. Tips welcome. "Eat less", did I hear someone say...?

The paper: This has been a really full-on week but the fruits of our labours are now out there. At it till 1am last night and generally a bit low on the midnight oil, all told. But as the last page proof came through today, it suddenly seemed worth it. 

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Date: 2008-04-15 22:13 Subject: Don't take yourself toooo seriously Security: Public

 Tain has lots going for it - but even I've been taken aback by the rash of would-be developers trying to gain a foothold there. With a population well under 4,000, the royal burgh finds itself courted by battling brands Tesco and ASDA, both looking to get a slice of the action from the long-dominant Co-op and new kid on the block, Lidl. People have queued overnight to get their names down for housing developments there, too.

And today a three-hour planning hearing saw controversial plans for a new medical centre and 170-home housing development edge closer to reality. Amidst a million pages of notes, I've marked a cracking quote from the town's community council representative. I aim to ensure it brightens up this week's issue of the Ross-shire Journal which is shaping up just beautifully, thank you very much.

Witnessed some horrendous overtaking by a delivery van en route north from Dingwall today and yet again had pause for thought that, on the roads, we're all a millisecond from tragedy given the slightest lapse of concentration at just the wrong moment. It's something that occurs more, I think, after you have children. 

And now that I've succeeded in cheering everyone up, I'll leave you with this...

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Date: 2008-04-14 20:28 Subject: Mobile mishaps Security: Public

 After splashing out on a (very cheap) mobile phone on Saturday, it was perhaps inevitable that I should find my old one today in the footwell of the car. Oops. Somehow, I've not quite got around to mentioning this fact to my wife ... 

I did however learn some fascinating mobile phone facts at an interesting presentation today which may stand us in good stead in the months to come. But more of that anon. 

A hectic yet pleasingly productive start to the week despite an hour-and-half of technical hitches first thing...and then another two hours at said presentation in the afternoon. Must've been that couple of hours of intensive homeworking last night that did it. 

Now not everyone will agree with this, but I was fed-up being denied  top flight football over the weekend. I wanted Match of the Day to watch a bunch of crunch Premiership games in highlight form whilst doing my ironing. Instead I got Sportscene which, at great length, showed Rangers' inevitable victory over Partick Thistle on a shamefully lumpy pitch. All I'd like in return for my expensive TV licence is the choice of watching the same programme being enjoyed by most of the rest of the population.

That said, resident sports nut John MacLeod tells me he's hooked up to Sentana (or whatever it's called) online...allowing him to watch Celtic AND Italian football...at the same time.  Hats off to the dude. A mountain of ironing awaits so that's quite enough whingeing for one night.

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Date: 2008-04-13 21:49 Subject: The tool every home should have Security: Public

 My Dad suggested a massive crowbar he happened to have stashed in his garage might just shift the devil tree root system Anj had tasked me with removing from a forgotten corner of our garden. 

It was surely worth a shot: neither traditional gardening tools nor the rather more extreme sticks of dynamite had made much of an impression. Why does my 82-year-old Dad have a massive iron crowbar in his garage? Might I also find a stripey jumper, comedy crook's mask and swag bag nearby? I didn't ask. It was all I could do to lift the monster into the back of the car. 

After shiftily checking the coast was clear, I levered the rod into position and....S-N-A-P! ...cracked those roots like they were matchsticks. All that was left was to hoist the extracted hunk of tree above my head with a Rambo-esque grunt and await my wife's swooning acclaim. She turned round from a spot of weeding, nodded the merest acknowledgment and told me to get on with bedding in the pansies. 

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